pathetic post #1

My plan on leaving was forming. I had it narrowed down to two options. Brooklyn College in NYC or Rhode Island College in Providence, RI.

NYC:
+NEW YORK CITY!!!
+cheaper
+has the majors i'm interested in
-worry i'd get too caught up in the city & not focus on my school

RI:
+really fell in love with the college, has great span of majors
+i honestly really want to live in ri, it's the the kind of place i feel like i belong
-the price is a little more than i wanted to pay
+feel like a degree from here would be more highly valued
-/+my boyfriend is going to a school 10 minutes away


I kind of just decided that one day I will rule New York City & that settling down for a couple years & pumping out a bachelor's is a really good idea.

I applied. I was accepted. I started filling out endless financial aid forms, that still have no end in sight. Boyfriend & I kept talking about how happy we are, but really really scared if like this is the right decision/ "what will everybody think?" Though not entirely ready to leave next September, I was emotionally ready.

I've never really had something to look forward to before. I feel like my life has been characterized mostly by a series of disappointments & I've just been waiting for something good to happen to me for so long. As soon as things were coming together boyfriend got too scared & said he didn't want me to go. This was the day before yesterday & I've had time to think about it. I've gone to every extreme, but decided on a medium.

I'm going. Spring 2009.